Your adult child is now
your grandkids' parent, an adult, in reality, your peer. They know
this, and so should you. It can come of no good to downgrade your
adult child, especially in front you their own child. It will never
be forgotten by your child, or your grandchild. Avoid doing this at
all costs.
Your role, instead of
being financially supportive toward your child (even if it is) is now
to be supportive toward their role as a parent. Trying to take over
is never the way to do things. There are exceptions to this, of
course, - addiction, difficult pregnancy with a subsequent baby,
accidents and injuries, but overall, don't try to take over your
adult child's home. Adding to it and enriching it is one thing,
sabotaging it is an entirely other matter.
One way that problems can
begin is simply differences in parenting style, from your experiences
to your child's style combined with his or her partner's style. There
is a great deal of information available, practically everywhere one
looks today, on parenting (as well as almost every other topic that
you might be interested in), plus there have been new developments in
almost every aspect of child-rearing in recent years.
This means that what might
have worked well for you might be recommended against, or even
considered abusive/neglectful in some circles. While the intention to
be abusive or neglectful might not be there, the consensus may have
changed dramatically.
The bottom line is how
will anything, especially those things that are opposed by your
grandkids' parents, going to affect your grandkids, now and in the
long run. Looking at possible effects can help you realize where your
grandkids' parents are coming from much more easily.
DISCLAIMER – I write
these blogs because I have been the child, the parent, and now, the
grandparent. I would like for everyone everywhere to get along
together, but there are too many bumps in the road for that to happen
for everyone. Because sometimes, many times, it is easier to see the
forest for the trees, especially when it is in hindsight, or from an
outsider's perspective, I want to give advice to those who might be
finding difficulty in growing and maintaining a relationship with the
youngest generation in their family. I write these posts because I
believe they might be helpful, and I do appreciate your feedback,
comments, and questions. However, I must explain that while I do this
to help people as best I can, I do include affiliate links within my
articles and posts. These links will take you to another site, and if
you make a purchase there (although sometimes it is a free gift or
download) I might be rewarded with a small commission. This
commission in no way will ever increase your price, but instead is
taken from their profits and then sent to me. I will never send you
to a spammy site or one that will hijack your computer. I only
include links to sites that are either extremely well-known and of
high quality or are highly educational, authoritative, and
informative.
